Top 5 Songs I Hate (#4 Closing Time- Semisonic)

While the 80’s was fraught with it’s own issues, the 90’s were much more so an abysmal void of music. Let’s face it, when you start the decade off mourning the death of Freddie Mercury and Mick Ronson, it’s not a good sign of things to come. And even though I was not a huge fan, Kurt Cobain’s death did nothing to help the situation. The lack of talent in the 90’s is perhaps best exemplified by the song “Closing Time”. It is basically four minutes of constant whining which seemed to be the standard of male bands of that decade. While Dan Wilson stated that it’s a song about impending fatherhood, you’ll forgive me if I call total bullshit on that. With lyrics like “one last call for alcohol” and “I know who I want to take me home”, it’s difficult to not take it literally and think he is really sobbing in his beer after yet another night of going home alone to his hand, vaseline, and kleenex. In either case, stop your friggin crying and move on. In a likely attempt to come across as deep, emotional, and complex, he only succeeded in coming off as a pretentious baby who feels way to sorry for himself. The song literally, not figuratively, makes me nauseous. Now, it’s not to say the 90’s had nothing to offer. Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, and Garbage with Shirley Manson who probably has more balls than the members of Semisonic combined. However, it was the music of Semisonic and those like them we were hit over the head with in that decade. The fact “Closing Time” was nominated for a Grammy as Best Rock Song further proves to me those award show foundations have no clue. So, without further delay, I give you “Closing Time”.

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